listening to alsace lorraine mp3s right now. i feel like i'm floating when i'm listening to her. makes me believe in happy endings, fairytale romance, and happy childhood. the illusion stops when i press the stop botton though.

ugh. i feel disgustingly fat. well i am but sometimes i don't feel it. i know i should lose weight, not just for aesthetic reasons but also for my health. i'm having difficulties breathing and walking and it's just not nice. yadda yadda yadda. i hate this feeling!!!!

i'm an occasional bulimic. i only force myself to throw up when i feel i really need to, like awhile ago. i ate so much at a restaurant tonight that i didn't feel good. so either i spend the rest of the night feeling that way or throw up and feel better. i chose the latter. my stomach muscle would ache though. that's what usually happens when i throw up. i don't think this type of bulimia is dangerous because i've been doing this for years and i never became addicted to it. i'm not a full-blown bulimic. just a very occasional one. i know i should really lose weight so i don't have to do this again but it really hard to control my appetite. if i could, i wouldn't have to throw up in the first place.

there. i was able to make this prettier than before. yay yay yay! it took me a couple of hours but i think it's worth it. i know it's nothing spectacular but at least its got more character than the default antville.org style. what do you think about the new design?